Have you ever noticed when someone speaks negatively about another person who isn’t present, people in the room become uncomfortable and the energy feels a bit low?
It can be very awkward to sit quietly and listen to someone take the room down (or virtual room if you’re on a social network) by bashing another person who isn’t around to defend themselves. On top of that, having negatively focused conversations are unhealthy for us on a biological level as well. Neuroscientists have proven that when we show love to another person, our brain interprets that love is meant for us. When we yell at someone or talk negatively about another person, our brain interprets that behavior is being directed at us as well.
So what does that mean for us on a biological level? Essentially, whatever energy we put out in the world (positive or negative), it literally comes right back to us. Increased cortisol (stress) is triggered in the body, which weakens the immune system and makes us feel a little less than awesome. When we hurt other people, we are hurting ourselves too.
Positive behaviors like laughing, smiling, speaking kind words and showing affection bring life and energy into a room. In contrast, operating from our lowest selves by speaking negatively about other people drains our energy, and that of everyone else who’s exposed to our negative behavior.
You are not a mediocre human being living without purpose in life. Those who choose to create stories or speak harshly of other people do not need your support in that moment.
By participating, or listening to judgements of others you are enabling that behavior to continue. Whenever someone goes down the “dark spiral” as I sometimes like to call it, you can break their pattern or shift the energy in the room simply by interrupting their flow of judgement and bringing the focus in the room to something positive and uplifting, or by acknowledging a positive attribute the person they are judging may possess. Some people may be offended by this, but you’re calling them to be their best selves in that moment and respecting yourself as well. Most of the time, others around you will appreciate the fact that you broke the negative cycle.
We are all magnificent beings with our own unique gifts to share with the world. Everyone deserves to be given the opportunity to express themselves without being pre-judged or mis-labelled because of someone else’s negative judgements that may or may not have been true. Perception is a funny thing.
It’s amazing how many more friends you will make when you follow this model and allow yourself to form your own impression of the people you meet along life’s journey. Listen to your intuition, on most occasions its right.
Be the Change You Wish to See in the World.