It’s the month of love and when most of us think of love we think of relationships. With this focus on relationships we are going to dive into a two part series of how to create more success in all of our relationships.
In the first article, I’ll be diving into the ultimate power tool for rocking all types of relationships. In the second article I will share with you some top practices you can embrace in the now to bring new levels of harmony, peace, success and love into your romantic relationships.
Everything in life is a relationship which is why it is so important that we learn as much as we can to find harmony, peace and success within our relationships. Most people in this world have been conditioned to seek what isn’t working, what is broken and what is wrong.
Phase one to creating rocking relationships resides in our ability and willingness to see things differently and do things differently. In other words, if we want our relationships to change we ourselves must be willing to change. You are the only one it takes to bring your positive vision to life.
This change comes in the form of building a new habit of seeking what is working. The first place to begin looking is within.
Rockin’ the Radical Self Love
Lets get this out of the way first. The idea of self love somehow, for a lot of people, has a weird negative connotation attached. Before you can make your way to the land of positive self esteem and rocking relationships you have to get real about what your perceptions are:
1. What do you really think? What are the initial words, thoughts and feelings that come into your awareness when you hear the words “self love”? What does self love mean to you? What have you been taught about self love?
Reflect and journal this out for as long as it takes.
2. Are you willing to see things differently? Now that you are clear about what you “think” about self love re-examine it through the lens of love. Is the meaning you have attached to the idea of “self love” positive or negative? Do your thoughts about self love leave you feeling contracted or expanded?
If your dominant beliefs about self love are negative (it’s wrong, narcissistic, egotistical, vain, arrogant etc) this is the dominant lens in which you are operating through when it comes to love and relationships. This negative lens is simply a function of fear.
3. Embracing change and practicing love: Radical Self Love is the belief that the core or root of all our successes in life reside in our ability to love and accept ourselves fully and completely first. Self love is the practice of having great respect, honour, gratitude and love for our bodies, minds and spirits. When we are present to our greatness we become living examples of love consciousness.
It is when we are treating ourselves with respect and kindness that our outer world begins to reflect our inner harmony.
Life Can Be a Powerful Mirror
What we see and experience in our outer reality can sometimes be a mirror of the internal reality we are dealing with. For example, the perception or belief that people are being hostile, mean and aggressive can be an indication that we are being hostile, mean and aggressive towards ourselves.
Likewise, when we see a world that is blessed, positive, healthy, kind and compassionate, this mirrors the inner compassion, love and peace we are experiencing. As humans, we fluctuate between these two ends of the fear/love spectrum. When it comes to harmony in relationships, the self love journey takes us into the awareness of how we can create an inner reality of love more often.
How we see ourselves then sets the tone for how we see others. We can only see in someone else what also exists within us. When we are focused on other peoples faults and shortcomings it is our unconscious way of avoiding looking at ourselves and getting radically honest about the areas in which we may be due for some grooming and improvement.
Before identifying the areas in which we have room to grow we have to be in the head and heart space of a kind and loving energy. To get there we must cultivate the habit of looking for the goodness within.
Radical Self Love: The Ultimate Relationship Power Tool
Our ability to identify our areas of strength, our talents and our natural given abilities is a self love muscle that will take time to build. Most of us were not trained as children to give ourselves praise, in fact most people’s upbringing was built on a fear based model. The most effective way to dissolve these patterns is by increasing our capacity for love and starting with self love.
We must first be able and willing to look at ourselves and seek the positive. To do so ponder these questions daily:
- What went well today?
- In what ways did I allow my gifts, talents and abilities to shine?
- What is the one quality I can always be relied on for?
- In what ways did I extend kindness, compassion and love towards myself today?
- In what ways did I extend kindness, compassion and love towards others today?
- What are my wins from the day?
- If I could be acknowledged for one thing today what would it be?
- From where I am at in my life right now, I can see my strengths are:
- The top 5 things I am most grateful for in my life right now are:
Making positive self reflection a staple in your daily routine begins to condition the conscious and subconscious minds to work in your favor. It activates the divine energy of love within you and begins to increase your positive magnetism which is a key factor in attracting relationships that reflect your deepest hearts desires.
Give yourself permission to develop a relationship with you that is based on praise, respect, forgiveness, positivity and love. For when we are able to show up for ourselves in this way, the relationships around us begin to shift, transform and thrive.
Stay tuned for part 2 of this article coming at ya later this week!
365 Day Radical Self Love Project:
30 Day RSL Program: www.kelseygrant.com/30dayprogram
Latest posts by Kelsey Grant (see all)
- Thriving In Love: Practices for a Vibrant Healthy Relationship - Feb 14, 2014
- The #1 Power Tool For Relationship Success - Feb 11, 2014